There are times I think Tay is never going to know me. I’m never going to get to say thank you. I’m never going to meet her. And so on…. I see her comment & like people’s post & I’ve been here a long time & I haven’t gotten into the T-party or club red. I never win anything to be invited to meet her.

BUT if all I ever have of Tay is what she’s given me already then I’m already extremely blessed. I also remind myself I have a lot more than a lot of other just as deserving (if not more so) Swifties have. I get to go to her shows. I have so much merch. I have my very own Tay room unlike any other. So I count my blessings and keep going and if it happens it happens if not I will keep on living. It’s not

I seem to be changing so much and so quickly these days that it is hard to rule out anything. I never thought that I’d live in New York or even cut my hair. These are all things that changed recently, and it is really funny and interesting how life keeps you on your toes.

I seem to be changing so much and so quickly these days that it is hard to rule out anything. I never thought that I’d live in New York or even cut my hair. These are all things that changed recently, and it is really funny and interesting how life keeps you on your toes.

(via plaidswiftdays)

Who cares if it’s pop, country or polka music? The song is a smash. Taylor Swift is a superstar, a superstar who has done more for the expansion of the country music audience than anyone else before her or since.
Shania Twain’s manager  (via starlightaylor)

(via tswiftnation)

To add more to anon about Katy. John recently unfollowed Katy on twitter.


Final nail in that coffin. 

Ice bucket challenge

I have to admit I have thought briefly that the ice bucket challenge was wasting water…when Matt Damon did it with toilet water I thought it was a great message. In saying that I don’t think it’s the end of the world. I think it’s for good cause. I think that the people reactions are sometimes melodramatic but I’m just guessing lol. In the end I don’t really see the harm, if you’re thinking it’s wasting water, that there are other “real” or more important problems going on in the world than throwing cold water on yourself or someone else….that’s true but it’s brought attention, it’s raised money, awareness, it’s made people laugh and smile, feel cared about…and yes shriek lol but what’s wrong with having that moment or any moment of happiness or whatever. I know personally I deal with a lot of anxiety that’s very overwhelming when it comes to everything. I end up in ERs, in bed, or the doctor, or my therapist office or even in this delightful place I call treatment that was in fact a rehab for eating disorders bc I get panic attacks, I get crazy anxiety and overwhelmed. I can even function. I grieve fully for people I’ve never met, I worry endlessly about things I can’t change that a way beyond my control and all of that overtakes me….and I hear over and over on repeat from people including my husband who desperately wants me to understand I can’t do that, I can’t be that person bc then I can’t help anyone at all including my own children. But I say to all of those people - it’s selfish to look away, to not hurt, not feel pain, to not want to change it, to not be anxious over it, not be consumed by all the really awful things in this world if I’m that person then I’m selfish, I don’t care and that’s not me and if I did in that way look away, or not think about it, or want to change it, not cry, not hurt and not know it’s nothing compared to those living it I would like me even less than I already do and if the world had more people who didn’t look away maybe it’d be a better place. DO YOU KNOW WHAT EVERY THERAPIST I’VE EVER HAD SAID TO THAT - THEY SAID “OR MAYBE EVERYONE WOULD BE LIKE YOU SICK, MIGRAINES, DEPRESSED, CRAZY ANXIOUS, OBSESSED WITH CONTROLLING ANYTHING YOU CAN AND THE THINGS YOU CAN’T and make it to where you are this place unable to in fact help anyone bc you can’t help yourself.” The truth is it’s about balance and I haven’t found that balance yet….and I fight myself on it a lot thinking what’s selfish and what’s not. I think about this a lot (I overthink everything) certainly when I pray and I try my hardest to remember everyone and everything I can think of that I think God needs to know - even though if I miss someone in reality I know God can read my heart and knows if I miss saying it doesn’t mean I don’t care- I still think of it as I go down that list constantly and remember someone or thing when I’m done what a horrid person I am and please know that doesn’t mean I didn’t care or don’t think it’s less important than the rest. In the end I don’t think it’s worst the thing in the world or even a bad thing if people experience happiness whenever they can bc it’s fleeting and if you have to experience all feelings sadness, fear, anger all of that to appreciate the good or great times….and I don’t think any of those people watching or doing it are really hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, or have no idea what pain, fear, or sadness is.


Taylor Swift ‘Shake It Off’ Lyrics on the Carpet ft. Ed Sheeran + more!

A lot of people who I think will relate to this song are…

(via tswiftdaily)

"Be original; don’t be scared of being bold!" - Ed Sheeran

"Be original; don’t be scared of being bold!" - Ed Sheeran

(via oldedsheeran)

Taylor Swift swipes her 60th Hot 100 hit… Only one female act has made more Hot 100 visits: Aretha Franklin, with 73.

(via tswiftdaily)


 I like glitter and sparkly dresses... 

(via stayfearlessx)

Sometimes you meet someone and even though you
never liked brown eyes before, their eyes are your now favourite colour.
Anonymous (via timid)

(via meglovtaylor130)


Matt Damon Does Ice Bucket Challenge With Toilet Water For 800 Million Without Clean H2O

Matt Damon was conflicted when friends Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck called on him to complete the ALS ice bucket challenge.

Find out who Damon challenges here. 

(via justobreakmelikapromise)

Who I am

Who I am
Sometimes I think I know - other times i have no idea. I know more of who & what I’m not than who I am. I always thought by my age you’d have all that sorted out. Today I looked in the mirror and very literally it was like a stranger was staring back at me…. I think part of all of this would be that…. I hate that person staring back at me she’s even more a mess then I guessed or believed. So while I can sit there and pick myself apart piece by piece exactly why I hate it & why it’s not right….which can only mean it’s wrong then-right? A small part of me in that moment knows it’s deeper. I’m sadly lacking in every possible area body & mind. It’s startling bc even when I start to think I’m doing better & figuring it out I look up & it’s like everything I thought I’d worked so hard on just keeps coming out all wrong & flawed. My body is wrong, my actions, my thoughts, my opinions…’d be all too easy today to decide I’m done bc I can’t get myself to go away….. I’m terrified of who I was, who I am and what I will be. How can anyone else be expected to like you when you hate you?
I feel like my world is spinning into absolute chaos. I have no control over anything at all. I feel sad, depressed, scared and worried that my fear of every person I care about leaving me and I’ll be alone….bc one person already left me when I didn’t expect it is a close reality. Another is doing all she can it seems and it perfectly understandable to just keep her feet on the floor. I like facts. I like plans. I like life scheduled but it doesn’t work that way. I don’t deal without plans, without a checklist… Even with those things it’s like I’m barely breathing. I just wish my life had a map I could see…..then if I couldn’t avoid the unwanted I could prepare bc it feels like on the edge & it’s exhausting. It’d be nice to feel safe to feel sure to know I’m going to be okay. That I’m not the worst mother, wife,daughter, sister, friend, human.
I think about am I falling or flying? Am I living or dying. I think if I looked at the whole picture I’m falling & dying. But I catch fleeting glimpses or the feeling I’m flying & living even if just briefly….I guess that’s where I trip up bc I think to myself exactly that - there are moments like yesterday where I felt great but then I’m passing the bathroom sink & all I see is a stranger looking back who’s failing miserably at everything she’s trying to do & then I feel like an idiot or fraud for misrepresenting myself….TO ME.